2 thanksgivings and 1 birthday

On Thanksgiving Day we celebrated at my parents' house. Things were different this year, and hard. My mom is still recovering from her 2nd surgery, my Nena went to be with family in TN, my dad was layed up in bed all night with food poising, and of course papa was not here.

Still, we came together to cook a good meal that had lots of love and laughter poured in. We talked about lots of good memories and talked about the future. My uncle David took on my dads job of cooking the turkey and ham for the first time and thankfully it was amazing!

I'm grateful that my mom is cancer free and has a husband who takes care of her like it's his mission in life. What an example they are to me. My mom has been so strong, has let me help sometimes, has still managed to care for others, and has been fixed on Gods ultimate care for her through this brutal process. My mom is a pretty awesome lady.

Oh the newlyweds ❤️

Us ❤️

kids table!

We still made some great memories and I'm even more thankful for my sweet family regardless of what season we may be in, I know God is there.... working and caring for us in the best way.

On to the Smart thanksgiving...

(Perfect food coma and kids take over pic)

It was soooo good to see everyone together! Luke and Christina are back from Africa for a bit so getting to have then here was so nice! 

Sol and Luke

I looooved getting to meet and hold my baby nephew, Simon, for the first time!!

(Just one of the tables)

(I guess they needed a quiet spot)

All the kids had a blast together and great jean was in town as well to be with us. All the ladies worked so hard at pulling together all the food and everything turned out amazing! Thanks for hosting AGAIN danna and sam!!!

I like these people a lot. I'm thankful to have married into a family that I consider mine. They've whole heartedly supported us through life's many challenges as a family and a married couple. When we speak with them there's no holding back, no judgements, only care and love. So so thankful beyond words. 

Also my dad turned 51! So we celebrated by having a "paint" party at Erica's new house! We has brunch and my dad opened gifts, and then he got to work! Haha so perfect! My dad is so awesome and loves to help out with house projects! I know he didn't want any gifts or attention but too bad so sad! He's to awesome not to celebrate so we tried to combine work and play ;) I think it went pretty well!

Happy birthday dad!! We love you so much and are glad to be celebrating another year with you and hoping for many many more great ones ahead!!

My Papa

This has to be the most difficult post to date. My fingers are sweating and I can feel my heart swelling up just as I've started typing the very first sentence. This past year and half our world has been rocked quite a bit by cancer and the chance of more cancer in my family. We've had to come together to survive. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows. Life is a lot of pain and suffering and being reminded that this is not our home. It hurts and its so very difficult. There's no getting away from it or controlling it all. Its just there, in your face, and you have to deal. I've had to watch my family suffer a lot... especially this man right here. This man is my Papa. He went to be with the Lord October 30th just a couple hrs after I left his side. My heart breaks every time I think about it. I miss him so. Its hard to think that he's really gone. This world lost a Godly, loving, hero of a man, but I'm thinking... God needed him more, and I guess I can live with that for now. I can still see his big smile, and hear his big laugh, and still remember his smell, his pinchy big man fingers, his huge enormous bear hugs that could fix any bad mood... man I miss him.

My Papa is a fighter and a man of great faith. He had esophogeal cancer, had surgery to remove the cancer, had radiation and chemo, and after all the fighting he did through that, it was discovered that he also had mesothelioma. Good gracious. He was so healthy and then everything came like a blow. A long suffering blow. My Papa was determined to beat it all. He did everything and more to his body to try and fight it. Unfortunately, mesothelioma is a cruel cruel thing to have and it tends to end badly for all who have it. Like I said though, he was determined. You see, he had my Nena to protect and take care of. She's the sweetest, most kindest, caring, motherly, nurturing, hard working, hostess with the mostess lady. My Papa was her knight in shining armor. Back when, my Nena was a single mother with three little children when she met my Papa and he's been completely smitten with her and took on her kids like his own. He was never the "step dad" he was the "ultimate dad". He not only swept my Nena off her feet, but the kids as well. He treated my Nena like gold and they've been the very best of friends all these years. soul mates. They'd stood by each others side through some of the hardest times imaginable as parents. I've always had great respect for them and their marriage... the way they take care of eachother, compliment eachother... everyone could see it. They were a pair those two.

My Papa was a man's man, a work with your hands till the sun goes down type of man. He was strong, courageous, and equally as loving. Not only do I have sweet memories of my Papa growing up, but my kids do too. The train rides, train museums, park trips, cookouts, family dinners and more. My kids adored him, especially the boys. "hey boy!" I can hear him say. Ryder always anticipated Papa greeting him the very same way every time.

Papa,
I wish you were still here to tell me more stories. I feel like every time we hung out and talked in the midst of all the craziness, I was constantly learning something new about you. Your wisdom, strength, care, laughter, love, affections, generosity, selflessness, hopefulness, and just down right presence will be greatly missed. Don't worry for Nena, there are plenty of us here to take over for you now. She will be spoiled rotten and loved to the core, protected, and cared for by the ones she's taken care of for so so many years. Its an honor. We know you are with your almighty creator in heaven... in no more pain, having no anxiety, dancing and praising him with your bran new heavenly body along side Janet. Words will never be able to describe the legacy you leave behind, and all the lives you touched and acts of kindness and selflessness you've shown others. There's just not anything that will do. So I'll just end by saying...we love you infinity Papa and look forward to that day when we will see you again. Until then, we will NEVER forget.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

(2Timothy 4:7)

Ryder is 5

I wanted to post this a couple days ago on his actual birthday, but honestly there was just no way. My family has been walking through a very difficult time, we are still trying to get through it together and I dont have the words right now to even type about it yet to be completely honest. So for now, I'm going to try and write a post about my sweet boy.

(pc: Kristen Leigh "imkristen")

I know I've said it before, but this kid is truly one of a kind. I still will catch myself being overwhelmed at times with the fact that he's mine. I get to be his mother and squeeze him and love him and teach him, and learn from him. He has this ability to blow me away with his timing. He will come out of nowhere and say the sweetest thing not knowing how much of in impact it really had on me. He has the softest most compassionate little heart. He is so sensitive to others and so quick to say sorry and ask for forgiveness. He opens the doors for ladies (wherever we are), compliments people, and introduces himself to other kids in such an adult way. He has an old soul. I have to tell people (kids and adults) that he's a hugger if they dont know him too well :) He has a lot of love to give and he's not stingy at ALL. That means I get SO many cuddles, kisses, and love and it never gets old! He loves Tee-ball, daddy's steak, school (and homework), his "famawy",monster trucks, CHRISTMAS (i call him our little elf), pump it up, and of course...the color green! He asks a MILLION questions daily and loves to boss his mommy and daddy around in the car because he already knows how to get EVERYWHERE! Our little back seat driver. He likes to know what we are doing, what time it is, what day it is, and how many days till _____ (insert whatever future even he's looking forward too). He has a bad habit of biting his nails, but he eats like a champ. He'll try almost anything and theres really not much he doesnt like. We call him the "little daddy" because he's always so concerned for/about others and LOVES babies haha. This kid. How is he mine? He drives me nuts when he aggravates the crud out of his little brother or when he can't sit still, or when he asks me how to spell every word in the dictionary, but i have a VERY hard time staying upset at him. He's a gentleman, loves the Lord, he's intelligent, and kind. I'm so blessed.

My sweet boy,
Mommy and Daddy cannot BELIEVE you are already 5! We love you so much our hearts want to burst. No matter what you do or who you become, know that our love for you will never dull. You are a gift from above and we adore you with our whole being. Happy Birthday Ryder Kade!

{birthday festivities}
Ryder went camping with his daddy for the first time (that he'd remember)! He and his best bud, Anthony (with his dad, Todd) camped at "Glory Downs Farm" (uncle day day's house) for a night and I still hear about it daily! They had an amazing time just being in the woods and smorin it up over the fire!
We also had dinner at Ledo's Pizza with my parents and Josie.He opened some gifts from them and Nena and Papa which made his night. He wanted to bring donuts to school (which we did) and wanted to go to Giant to pick out his own green cake haha! Can you tell I'm not Martha Stewart ;) Unfortunately he was too sick to celebrate with the Smart side, but they were sweet enough to send gifts over to him to open which made his sickies not so bad :)
we wont even mention that mommy failed big time and scheduled his shots on his actual bday :( He was so brave though and took them like a champ! We visited daddy at work right after and I think that helped. 

Thanks to Great Jean and Granddad and Grandma Sherwood for sending sweet cards to my boy! He actually enjoys reading them and likes to have me read them over and over like books. He loves them and appreciates them.

The Great Frederick Fair

We try to get to the fair in frederick every year. Sometimes is doesnt happen or my sister ends up taking them instead, but the kids seriously look forward to it every year! It comes at the perfect time, late september, when the weather is finally getting mild enough to hang outside all day :) Unfortunately Neil was still sick with strep and not feeling up to going so we brought our Ni ni with us and had a great night being a kid with the kids!

playing games

trying to get him to smile haha he's winning

me and my babes

still cant believe Kylan rode this all on his own! he was eyeing that train all evening

FUNNEL CAKE!

they couldnt wait to ride this one, i love that they were the only ones on it :)

their favorite ride, the "wild mouse"

right at the end of the ride, the happiest they were all night!

love you Ni Ni!!!

thats how they roll

deciding...

dont worry, 2 seconds later I had to get Kylan out. he didnt want to commit to this one lol (first ride of the night)

bye frederick fair! until next year!!

End of Summer

I'm definitely in need of catching up on pictures from summer! I got the beginning up and here's the middle to end of all the summer fun we've had! I love looking back on summer! So many good memories smooshed into just a few months :)

the morning of the 4th of July!

we drove to the lake that day to stay with Great Jean for the weekend!

Ryder LOVED canoeing with his daddy!

having fun in the lake!

Kylan was not so excited about the canoe, but he tried! haha

fishing

uncle Sol teaching Ky the ropes

Kylan is also not a fan of fire crackers, he started like this and then I had to take him inside

the girls! Nyah Shelby and Sadie

ready, set, GO!

Kylan and Mimi

Ryder and Eden

so pretty and peaceful

just some smooches ;)

little explorers

some serious bird watching happening

eating his breakfast on the back deck, I like his style such a little man

 ::GEORGETOWN::

we love to visit georgetown in the summer and make a day out of it!

the kids loved the huge sprinkler!

lunch on the water front, eating and boat watching... and people watching :)

Nyah getting some air

Kylan didnt feel the need to get all the way in

we had a our share of pool days this summer too! (baker park pool)

::CHARLOTTE, NC::

It'd been an embarrassingly long time since we'd made the drive to visit our dear friends! But we finally made it happen!

CJ and Ryder

The "guys" took a day to do guy things like fishing :) (uncle Toph, Ryder, & CJ)

lake swimming

Ryder the driver

We also went to a kids museum and the kids had a blast! (Nyah and Avery)

sea creatures

taking turns in the air chair

Anna Cate and Ryder

Avery and Nyah

more Avery and Nyah

all the kids!!

the four of us :)

love this girl, wish we didnt live so far apart!!

silly pic

smiley pic

::ANNIVERSARY STAY-CATION IN DC::

Neil and I celebrated 9yrs in Aug. and decided to do an overnight at the Donovan House in DC to celebrate!

we started with lunch... sushi was a no brainer!

maybe he was overwhelmed haha

we were upgraded to a Jr suite so we had an awesome view and plenty of space!

our plan - to spend as much time relaxing by the rooftop pool as possible!

... clearly we had no problem doing just that haha

one of my favorite parts - coming back to the room after the pool to find champaigne and choc covered strawberries!

getting ready for din... just us

the food was amazing!!

later we acted like total nerds and had fun with the camera timer and our cool robes lol

our weekend ended with lunch on the waterfront :) 

~~~~~~

Next, we move onto real life and back to the grind, as Nyah had her very first day at her new school! Frederick Classical Charter School has been much anticipated and this August they had their very first opening year! We were ecstatic to find out that she was accepted into the school and have been beyond impressed with how amazing the staff is and how great the school is! Nyah has adjusted SO well and made friends super fast! Audrey and Phoebe have been the topic of conversation from day one! I love that she loves her new school and after meeting the teachers recently at the open house, I'm even more happy to call this her home away from home.

looking fab in her new uniform

her home room on her first day!

::GIRLS' BEACH DAY::

Alissa and I like to plan a day to get to the beach... just us mommas! we had amazing weather! (OC, MD)

we literally sat on the beach ALL day relaxing and chatting

i swear i have a bathing suit on!

cheers to mommy time! Eating on the boardwalk

of course i had to take Alissa to Secrets!! the view of the sunset was incredible!

It was such a blessing to get away and refresh for a day with a great friend!

 ::BETHANY BEACH (round 2)::

labor day weekend we packed up and went back to visit my Aunt Donna and Uncle Paul at the beach

we seriously love it here and knew it'd be our last beach trip of the year!!

daddy and ky (who was not a fan of getting in the water)

but he liked watching and playing at the edge :)

Ryder went out with daddy a LOT! They had a ball... and got wrecked a couple times haha

me and ky

Ryder and Uncle Paul having some early morning quiet time

sandy girl

i love watching them play at the beach

playing in the ditch

just layin out...no big deal

not staged. Neil just happened to catch them being super sweet :)

my three little loves

ice cream on the boardwalk!

the whole gang in one pic! thank you stranger for taking this for us :)

arcade games!!

skee ball!!

bunch of party animals

getting out her art supplies on the beach, cuz we cant really go a day without them :)

shell collecting with Aunt Donna

normal pic

no wait... this is the normal pic lol

not a bad view to wake up to, but so hard to leave!

Thanks again Donna and Paul for having us! 

 ~~~~~~~

 Once again its back to the real world as Ryder started he first day of 4's preschool! This was the start of his second year at Good Shepherd Preschool. So far its continued to be a wonderful experience! This year he's going 3 days a week instead of two for 2 1/2 hrs. He seriously loves school!

the infamous peace sign haha

he so excited to see some of his friends from last year in his class again!

 ::BACHELORETTE WEEKEND::

to celebrate my sister being two weeks away from saying "i do", her friends and I took her away for the weekend! (view from our room)

so pretty (another room view)

we went to the Chesapeake Hyatt in Cambridge. It was seriously beautiful and once again the weather was extremely cooperative thank God!

ready for dinner!

our time spent was mostly here, relaxing poolside :)

the infinity pool was our favorite

 We had an amazing time relaxing, eating, making smores by the fire at night and celebrating my sister's big upcoming day! So glad that you girls could all make it and that things went so well! 

~~~~~~~~

::DOWNTOWN FREDERICK::

sometimes we like to go downtown when the weather is nice to walk around, eat, play, feed ducks, and really just see stuff :) This day we met up with Naomi for lunch and walked around and it was just beautiful out!!

 

elevators that you can see out of are the very best!

when we got there we saw a kids band playing!

we had a nice little view from the other side :)

then they wanted to watch from the bridge

fountain obsessed

Carroll Creek so so pretty

trying to call the ducks over

this is how they do lunch haha (La Paz)

Just a few days later was "in the streets" in downtown frederick! They shut down the streets and have a ton of sidewalk vendors out giving away free stuff, tons of great food, and of course performances!

Some American Idol person was there and Nyah's dance team was scheduled to perfrom! Sadly, Daddy was at home with strep :(

Abby and Nyah checking out some cool pens this guy was making

Ryder deciding to entertain the gathering crowd before the show started with his "break dancing"moves lol

dance team girls ready to go!

Nyah and the girls performing "beiber fever"

they did AWESOME and of course had a blast!

more abby and nyah :) cutest

snapping shots as we walked back to the car. Theres really so much history there if you stop and look

...and they really actually like to stop and learn about the history :)

Whew, well there's our summer in a nutshell!! Its been truly amazing and wonderful! My sister did get married and I'm lame and took no pics because honestly, I was very involved with that one haha. But I will say it was completely beautiful, gorgeous weather, great food and music, and my sister looked stunning!! I got through my matrin of honor speech (with a few stops to try and get myself together), and her hair and make up turned out lovely. Eric and Erica went to Cali for their honeymoon and just got back this past weekend so I cannot wait to hear all the stories and see more pics! I'm sad that summer is over but looking forward to the nice perks of fall. The trees are already starting to turn and the weather had been OH so fickle as usual haha. 60 here 80 there, no big deal. But I'll take that all day long over the cold. We've had the windows open and have been able to go back to the park to play bc of the cooler breezes blowing through :)

I started teaching my 3rd year at Urbana Dance and so far things are going great there as well. Neil is still working away at Criswell and loving that too. We are so blessed, healthy, and trying to slow down time a little. We can get so busy sometimes that we plow through the week, so holding days to do nothing or just be together as a family is something we have started trying to do. Nyah has also started her 3rd year at UDS and she is there 4days out of the week! I work there 2 days, and Ryder as started up Tee ball again on saturday mornings! Life is full, but its all really great stuff!

Now we are just praying hard for God to do a work with healing my Papa. Its been super hard to find the words to write about it, but he's suffering. He's in pain and trying to fight off Mesothelioma which happens to be close to impossible. It's been over a year now since this all began. He went to have cancer removed in his esophagus (which was a major surgery) and unfortunately  that's when the mesothelioma was found and its been so hard for him to fight that after recovering from a life changing esophageal surgery. He's such a fighter, such a trooper, and even made it to Erica's wedding. We want him to stick around here, but we want him to not be in so much pain. If you read this, say a quick prayer for him. My Nena needs him the most. Though God is her ultimate need and strength, Papa is her gift from Him. We know nothing can last forever here, but we are not ready to see him go. My family is my everything, and all I want to do is fix the sadness and suffering. While he's here we want to enjoy him and love on him without causing stress. Praying for comfort and a miracle.